Happy Memorial Day/My very first guest

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

What's going on, beautiful people? It is the CFG and welcome to another episode of the Confident Fag Guy Podcast. Today is a very special episode because I have my very first guest. And it happens to be my girlfriend. So before we start this episode, happy memorial day. Thank you for any of you men and women that listen to the Confident Fat Guy podcast. Thank you for your service. Thank you for my freedoms. And just all in all, thank you for being badasses. And I'd like to thank my sponsors, RiseEle Coaching and Aaron5 News. You can contact Kai at RiseEliteCoaching at Outlook.com. For more details, you can contact Kai. You can follow RiseEle Coaching on Instagram and TikTok and Aaron5News, your number one social media news outlet for Indiana. Aaron5 News offers free, yes, free advertising and monthly shout-outs. They are also looking for volunteers, whether it's sports, news, weather, contact Aaron Glunt on Facebook and follow Aaron Five News on Facebook. If you have any questions, friend request Aaron Glunt on Facebook. And thank you for my supporter, Lindsay Amos, for sponsoring the Confident Fat Guy podcast. Now, on today's episode, I do have my very first guest, and yes, it is my girlfriend. And the reason why I wanted to have her as my very first guest is because she has also been through some pretty gnarly shit in her life, and she agreed that she would come on the podcast and talk to me a little bit about it. I don't think we're gonna get too depth and too personal just because I don't want to open up any bad wounds or anything like that. But babe, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 2:18

I'm great. I've actually had a really good day today.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Awesome. Yeah, we have we went to the pool today and we hung out. You are very burnt.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Fried.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yes, yes, you are.

SPEAKER_03 2:31

So fried.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

We took the kids to the pool and had some sun. So pretty much, I mean, you know how my podcast runs, you've listened to it. Um why don't we just start off by how did we do you remember how we met when we were teenagers?

SPEAKER_03 2:53

Not right off the top of my head.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Great mean either. This is gonna be a great conversation.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

I mean, I I I really don't. Um I know we went to prom together, and I think that's as far as it was really supposed to go. But it it it it went further.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Yeah, uh, I don't even know if to be honest with you, I remember wasn't it a camp, we camped together and then Yeah, you came to my house. Yeah, and then we kind of start talking then I guess.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

And then we went to prom together. And then I don't really remember how long we were together before we broke up.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

It was a little over a year, I think.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Probably, and you know the weird thing about it is, and we've talked about this several times, is we don't even know how we broke up or why we broke up. No, um, but we were apart for 20 years a long time, and out of the blue, I got a message on face or yeah, Facebook.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

It was Messenger, Messenger. I sent you a picture of our prom picture, and it's like, look what I found.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Yes, and then we kind of start talking again, and then we start hanging out again, and then you came to my house that night because they said I needed a hug. Yes, and no, nothing else happened.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

You showed up. I was sitting out on the tailgate of my truck, and you you showed up. I didn't know, I didn't think you were really going to, but you did.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

I did. And here we are, almost three months later. But no, it's been cool, it's been fun. Um it's been healthy, very healthy, and that's kind of what I wanted to have her on today for, is because obviously you guys know my story. I I've shared with you my past relationships and how unhealthy and how bad they went, but Lindsay kind of has the same story I do, besides some things were more physical and emotional, and like I said, we're not gonna get into major, major details, but what what else what in your memory or your mind what started everything to go bad with you?

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Like which time?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Um, well, like me also, Lindy was an alcoholic. Um very bad. I would probably say she was even a worse alcoholic than I was. But this is the funny story. We actually star talking again in 2017.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

I was a raging alcoholic. It was bad. It would have been so bad for him.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

And the reason why we stopped talking, and I wish I would have saved the messages because she cussed me out more times than I think I've ever been cussed out in my life, because I told her, I said, look, I was actually coming home from Subaru and she was actually passed out drunk in my car and her car in front of one of the bars on my way home, and I didn't know that until the very next day. And in 2017, I was getting out of my alcohol, I was mentally fixing myself, and I just text her and said, Look, until you get clean, I cannot do this. I cannot be with an alcoholic, and I got this long ass text messages cussing me out left and right.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

I was spiraling in 2017. It was bad, completely spiraling out of control.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

And then we lost contact. Like we didn't, I mean, we were we have been, we've always been friends on Facebook, but we never really talked. And after 2017, I don't think we spoke one word to each other until she sent me that message on Messenger and Yeah, well tell me and tell my people that listen how did you get out of alcohol?

SPEAKER_03 7:35

I was drunk one night. I lived in trailer I lived in a trailer, I was drunk, had a dead end job, and I I just was like, I don't I don't need to do this anymore. Three sheets to the wind, didn't need to do this anymore. And I dumped every single drop of alcohol that I had in my house dump sick. So would you say that you cut cold turkey was a struggle to I cut cold turkey, I was sick for three months after I quit. I've set the bottle down, I it was the flu a hundred times over for months. There were times I thought I was going to literally die.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Oh yeah. And I've I've too, as I've said on this show many times, that my drinking was so bad that yeah, I I too got sick, not not that long, but I I was I was pretty sick to the point where my shaking shook the whole trailer.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

It was so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

And mind you, she's not a big girl. She weighs like a buck 20 soaking wet, so shaking and shaking a whole fucking trailer, it's hard to believe, but she shakes like a mofo anyways. So once you got out of alcohol and all that, like what what made you want to like and we'll get into the bad relationships here in a bit, but I really wanted a more focus on the alcoholism and what after you dropped the bottle and after you got over your sickness, like what what made you want to like turn your life around and what made you want to not touch a bottle again?

SPEAKER_03 9:38

My kids. I didn't want my kids to see that ever again.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

And mind you, she has three beautiful children. I'm in love with her daughter. She has a nine-year-old that is funny as shit. He l I wish I had the energy he does.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

I wish I had half the energy that he does.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Um so after you got clean and sober from the alcohol, what what did you do to change your life? Were you where you knew that you weren't gonna touch alcohol again?

SPEAKER_03 10:11

I quit hanging out with the same people that I would hang out with. I quit going to the bars. Um I love karaoke. That's probably the only thing I missed about going to the bars.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

I love to sing and it breaks glass when she does.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

No. Oh no. It does not. Yes it does. Uh huh. And I I just I just quit hanging out with those people in that crowd and and I I switched jobs. I I didn't have a choice but to switch jobs because the same people that I would go and hang out at the bars with I I worked with. Like I I was with those people 24-7. Like, and if we didn't go to the bars, they came to my house and we we drank on my patio and and it I just no, we can't do this anymore. I'm done. Like you you guys were only around me when I was when I was drunk and fun, and now I'm not drunk and I'm boring.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

And she's very boring, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

I'm very boring.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Um and that that's not in a mean way, like I I joke around with her all the time. She's more of a modest, I'm more of an outgoing, I love to have fun.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Hermit.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

And she is a very hermit, yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Hermit. I don't like to leave my house unless I have to. Um he has gotten me out more often than I care to admit. Um, I'm not a public person, I'm not a people person. I like people from a distance. From a distance.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

And she look, I always kid with her that she has three sides. Her grandma side, her guil side, and her MILF side. And unfortunately, I've seen all three. When we go out, she dress she's so gorgeous. That's my MILF. When we're at home, she's a GIF. And then her grandma side is and we'll get we'll get to the reason why she doesn't have teeth. But she does wear dinters, and that's when we're at home, she doesn't wear them, and we'll get into that reason why. But when we're at home, she's just in her I just robbed a nursing home store. And and I make cardigans. She likes cardigans and sweaters, granny panties, and I don't wear cranny panties.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

What's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_00 12:45

A lot. I'm with you. Uh so yeah, why why don't we get into your the issue with what happened to your teeth?

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Um it it's called periodontal disease. Um, it is where the jaw, like the bones in my jaw and my gums receded so bad that my teeth were decaying from the inside out.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

And let me just stop her for a minute. She's never done any major hard drugs, it was just pure alcohol. So her not having teeth doesn't have anything to do with meth or heroin or any of that dumb shit.

SPEAKER_03 13:25

And and the kids took all the calcium out of my body when I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Oh, yeah, that will do it too. So it's not any any reason because of that. She really had a medical condition, it wasn't anything stupid, and it it doesn't bother me one fucking bit. Like when she popped them out for the first time, I'm like, that's pretty gross. Just because just because of the noise it made. I'm like, are you serious? That is nasty. But being at home with my grandma, it's it's honestly been perfect. Like this is probably the most fun that I've had in a long time. Like, and she's really down to earth, and I'm not just saying that because she's sitting right here, I tell her all the time, but I don't know of another female that will put up with my antics, and trust me, I have a lot. I'm very handsy, aren't I? Very handsy, and she just smiles and she puts up with my toy collection. Hell, she's even gone to the toy store with me a few times. But like, I literally, when I prayed to God, I went to the toy store by myself once. Yeah, she did, and I didn't even know about it because we went in there and I told her, I said, Don't let me spend any money. I think we were getting ready to go on a trip with the kids, and they had all five original Power Rangers men on card. It was gonna be like 120, 100 between 120, 140 bucks okay, after taxes. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

And I was the most I've ever spent on toys in my life.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Oh, thank you, babe. I love you. But I told her, I said, don't let me spend any money because we were getting ready to go on a chip.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Nope, she wouldn't let me. And there was a few things I was eye screwing in there. And I'm like, all right, we gotta go. But I was eyeballing these so hard. And I think it was like the next day or two days later.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

She I was so scared because I had just given you my location. I was like, I'm gonna get caught.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

And and by the way, we both have each other's locations on our phones. I don't ever look at hers. Like, I don't give a shit. Like, it's there. If you know I don't hear from her, I can look and see where she's at.

SPEAKER_03 15:58

But I need you to know where I'm at if I wreck my car.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah, because she's a horrible driver.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

I am not.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Is that why you raced me on Dixon Road? Yes. Lost. No, I didn't, I didn't lose. Yeah, you did. We could even bring in my son to find out because he was in the car. Parental division, don't race anybody with children in the car. That was dumb. I was shown off and I beat her.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

So, anyways, I got stuck behind a grandma.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

No, she no, she didn't. Don't let her fucking lie to you guys. She lies to me all the time.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

I do not. You liar.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

But, anyways, I get a text message either the next day or the day after, and she's like, I got a surprise for you. And mind you, I was at work, and I always come see her after if I don't have a holdover, I get off at 10. I always go hang out with her for at least a couple hours, an hour to two hours, just so I can see her. And I'll be damned, this twat waffle had all five of those power rangers, and I think that's when I fell in love with her again. So, yeah, tax has been really great. Um, we have fun. We have a lot of fun, we do have a lot of fun, we do. So, out of the whole toy situation, so you have had a couple bad relationships.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

I have.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Well, it and we're not gonna go too deep into it because this is my thing. We really don't talk about past relationships because for one, I don't care, and for two, that's the past. I don't worry about the past, I don't worry about who she was with, what she was doing. That's the past. That has nothing to do with me. It's me and her now, and I I just don't give a shit. So we really don't talk about a lot of past issues. Now we have talked about a few things, and that's kind of why I wanted to see if she wanted to come on and talk to about it a little bit because she has had a bad marriage, and she's going through that bad marriage, two bad marriages. But the one right now that she's going through right now, just by what she's told me, it's probably the worst.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

I have 14 days until that's final.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Oh, yay. Then I'll get her life insurance policy when I kill her. So what with the last one? What was because I don't know, we haven't really talked too much about the first one. We've really only discussed some things about the one you're going through a divorce process now. What and you don't have to give too many details, that's not what this is about, but you know, my podcast is more about helping people. So if your experience can help somebody else, what you told me that you know things at first were really good. They were, and then about a year, year and a half, two years, it started to go downhill.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Um, I wouldn't even I wouldn't have even said it was a year, probably probably eight months to a year that it started going downhill after we got married. Um he was really great in the beginning. Like treated me like a fucking queen, but like I and then it just slowly started degrading. Um like I I in the be you know, in the beginning of it starting to go downhill, I didn't I didn't matter. My opinions didn't matter what I wanted to do, what I said, anything anything that I thought, it didn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Um mind you, sorry babe, mind you, some of that does reflect on our relationship as well, because there are times where I'll be like, hey, you know, what do you want to do, or what do you want to go, where do you want to go eat at? Or you know, and she'll always agree with anything I say. And we had this conversation in the car on the way to the restaurant tonight, and I'm like, you know, you you have a choice, you know, you you can tell me, hey, babe, I would like to go here or there. You don't always have to agree with me. And there have been, we let me mind you, in the three months, we have never fought, we have never argued, but there have been some times where, and I've I've discussed this on a past episode, that I have said something and it triggered her, where she would run off and cry, and I had no idea what I did. And I think the the best thing about our relationship is we talk about everything like day long. There's there's not one thing that we don't talk about if it involves money, if it involves going somewhere, we always talk about first, and honestly, I've never had that, and it's been really great, but I'm sorry to barge in on that one. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Um I don't even remember where I was. Things were going good for the first eight months, and then it it just and then it wasn't and um you know it it I'm I'm not overly sure that he did not have mental issues because there were days he was great and then it it was just a flip of a switch and it I I will I will tell you that he was never physical with me. He was never physical that was the first one, right? That was the first the my first accessor. Um never physical with me but he was very he he was condescending um very uh emotionally abusive um i i would tell him something that was bothering me and he would he would turn it around like well that that shouldn't bother you the way that it does and and you're just you're nuts because that bothers you the way that it does and it basically gaslit me into thinking that my feelings were invalid and um his his youngest daughter um I I actually helped him bite to get his three oldest kids from his first wife and then his youngest daughter he wasn't even sure was his I I helped him bite to try and get paternity and and establish a custody agreement with her and when that happened and he started seeing his youngest daughter um I would go with him because of the way that the the step up parenting plan worked um just to make sure that nothing happened between them because she had gotten a restraining order on him for whatever reason I couldn't ever get into it because it was it was a protective order so it's not readily available um on public information and then once that restraining order was dropped I was like I don't have to go with you anymore like I I don't want to be around this woman. Like I I there's no reason for me to and um when we split up uh we had a really big blowout fight and when we split up he ran to her house and I found out that he had been cheating on me with her for the last year of our marriage. Damn I don't think you ever told me that one so what was you know obviously this was a build up but what was the one thing that actually put the icing on the cake where it was it was done it was time to when when we had that big blowout fight um he I can't remember what the fight started over but it it escalated so badly and I told him that he needed to get his baby mom's dick beaters out of his back or not ever come back home.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

Now obviously you know as well as I do there are so many women out there that are afraid or what's the other word I'm looking for to get out of abusive relationship whether it's physical or mental mentally what would your advice be to those women that are trying to get out of an abusive or an emotionally abusive relationship because they're scared you have to pull yourself up by your panties and just go just leave I don't care if you have to leave with the clothes on your back I don't care if you have nowhere to go just leave I I mean I agree and and obviously you know we've talked a little bit about your first marriage and that one was actually physical.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

That one was actually physical and I that one got physical a a lot and I through our almost 10 year relationship.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

And I think you said that he broke your ribs.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Um I I was working as a bartender I think I was it was like a mile and a half down the road from where I lived and we had went in I think it was I can't remember if it was a 4th of July party it was some sort of party and we had went in um on my off shift because it was expected of me to make an appearance for for parties on my off shift if I wasn't working them. And he didn't like the fact that I was having a good time and he left me there. So it started raining and I started walking home and I see his car coming down the hill.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

I lived in Ohio at this point and I seen his car coming down the hill and he almost hit me and then I get home had no idea where he was at and he gets back home finally about an hour and a half later or so and I I can't even remember what all was said but he grabbed me by my shoulders and threw me into my kitchen counters and it cracked I think two ribs on one side and then when I fell and hit the kitchen table because it was butted up against the windows I cracked another rib on the other um yeah and that was the last time that was ever physical so was that like the the ending point to that or were you like all the other girls that are terrified to leave an abusive relationship because either A I I love this person or you know any other the situation no no um we were actually together for about a year after that um I did have him thrown in jail um and then my mother in law at the time um she's like well I'm getting ready to go get him out of jail is he welcome to come home and I said no he's not welcome to come home like if he wants to come talk to me he can come talk to me at my work and we can work it out from there.

SPEAKER_03 28:40

But he's not coming home until I'm 10% sure he's not gonna put his hands on me again.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Yeah and disclaimer and I've said this many times on my show if you're a man that put your hands on a woman you're a pussy like I don't care whether she beats a shit out of you or not you don't ever put your hands on a woman so after going through you know the two relationships that you had what made you decide that that was enough like I don't deserve this how did you pick yourself back up I don't even know I don't even know I it's because it's all I know I I have to keep going I have three sets of eyes looking at me like hey mom you're you're a superwoman like you you need to figure this out and mind you she really is and we're gonna get into that just in a second but again thank you for sharing you know your story but this girl has a bachelor's in psychology psychology forensic psychology and she's working on her master's for human resources human resource management same damn thing no it's a little bit harder but she actually just got done doing her schoolwork right now and there's a lot of things within the last 20 years that you know it's like meeting a new person all over again you know we both boring on very boring but but you know it was fun to relearn about her and it was really cool to fall back in love with her again because you know not to sound mean but I was I I forgot how I fell in love with her the first time so coming back 20 years later it's like a whole new person you know and I've mentioned this on podcasts before you know I have a hard time with it um because I am so different than I was in high school yeah yeah I mean you completely are but I'm so different than I was in 2017 yeah oh yeah completely I don't get cussed out anymore I'm mellow now she's very chill very chill which I never remember her being very high strung to begin with but yeah she's very mellow very chill and she's compl she's so smart it's not even funny I give credit to her if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have been able to pass my test for my new job which actually did bring up another thing why don't you tell them about the same offer or the first offers you've got that I still haven't heard anything about those that's why I said why don't you tell them what happened through your interview and what not after 10 minutes of us getting home she gets phone calls.

SPEAKER_03 32:04

I get a phone call from um the lady that I interviewed with she was one of the head HR ladies and she's like well when we were when we were going through your interview I didn't really I I know we touched on your education and this and that and I was like yeah and she's like I see that you're you're going you're you're doing HR through Iwo and I was like yeah and she's like well are you done with that and I said no said I won't be conferred until October and she's like well do you have your bachelor's degree I said yeah I have a bachelor's degree and she says okay well that's good enough um I'm gonna need you to go onto this website and apply for the HR business planner and for production supervisor.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

And again we weren't even home 10 minutes not even from her interview.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

So and then he's making fun of me as I'm writing on my whiteboard on the refrigerator.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Yes she's so old she writes on writes on whiteboards. I love my whiteboard but anyways so how that started was I actually brought it up to her and we're not gonna get into her current job just because she's still employed so if anybody from her job listens to this I don't want to get her in any trouble or anything like that but I had the opportunity to apply to the job that I got hired at and we were talking about it and I said hey why don't you give it a shot and we're we both got job offers and I start June 8th and she should be getting her offer letter probably tomorrow tomorrow or Wednesday tomorrow or Wednesday so yeah things are going really good um I'm looking forward to to not having as much responsibility well I mean you're responsible for me that's enough I mean that's that's on top of my job and everything else i'm I'm talking about my job oh yeah I'm I'm looking forward to being able to push a button and pew well that that's because I'm not gonna name where she works at or anything like that but she's very underpaid and overworked and I know everybody says that but I actually see it and I know the responsibilities that her podunk of a product manager puts on her and we're both excited I don't hate my job that I have now I don't hate mine either she doesn't but I see the people that make it worth it I see how she is when she comes home it's very mentally draining so we're both excited you know for the new path and it's a lot more money and we're gonna have more time together than what we do now with my schedule because she was we have made it work and I think we've done a really good job at it but it's nice to just to sit down and plan you know future engagements and we do and I'm not just saying this but we actually really do talk about everything like there's not anything that we don't yeah there's nothing that we don't talk about like and it's not just a one-sided conversation either it's no what do you think about this or no what do you think about this you know is it possible do you think it's possible do you think we can do it it's been really great and she has shown me look I've said this on my podcast before sometimes I need to practice what I preach and before her I was single for 11 years I really didn't care much about my it's not that I didn't care about my appearance but I didn't care what other people thought of me and now I have her and sometimes I get into my feelings just because the way she looks and the way I look and and I I mean I've I I'm man enough to admit it I've broken down to her a few times and told her look you deserve better than this like you look this way I look that way but it's not all about looks babe and I I think you're one of the most handsome people I've ever seen stop I'm gonna throw up I appreciate it but I mean I I do have my moments with her and you know even on an intimacy intimacy level you know there's times where it's like I'm not good enough for this like I don't and I've I've already made an episode about this you can go back I I hate her seeing me naked. I don't much care for you seeing me naked either so yeah but you're hot I'm not whatever but anyways I think this was a good conversation um I know you were nervous about doing this and I appreciate you opening up to this being your first podcast that's gonna be listened to thousands of people oh god I think I'm streaming now in a hundred different countries or I'm sorry I'm at 110 different cities and like 65 different countries now and I appreciate you all you didn't tell me this beforehand what how many people were gonna actually hear this well yeah because if I would have told you would have done it but thank you guys so much I'm at like 996 downloads we're almost to a thousand um so close really close uh I never imagined people would want to hear what I would have to say and I'm humbled and I appreciate you guys so much and Lindsay thank you so much babe for coming on here talking to me and being so vulnerable and thank you for being my first guest yeah it was cool yeah it's not as bad as what you thought it was was it it was awful I know all right guys thank you so much for joining me if you'd like to be a sponsor or a supporter you can go to wherever you're listening to the podcast at and hit the support button and again thank you so much for listening again I'm at like 996 downloads I'm four more four more four more actually let's get like a thousand more but it's because of you guys and I appreciate it and I never thought I'd be streaming in 110 different cities and 60 something countries and I appreciate you guys and I love y'all remember love yourself love each other conquer your dreams and crush your goals I will see you guys next week